When the rubber hits the road

Such a simple phrase that gets a lot of use, I wonder what phrase we used before we had rubber and roads to hit them with.  I am sure there is some literature scholar out there who could help me with this, but that really isn't what this is about.

Wanda and I have been talking a lot over the last couple years about how God is leading us and where God is leading us and when God is leading us.  For quite some time, the recurring themes have been daily obedience, setting aside our self, and waiting.  In the past month or so, that has changed to obedience, setting aside our self and GO.  Waiting for things is hard.  Our daughter Rachel (8) is hilarious as birthdays, holidays, Christmas, and vacations approach.  Each day that she has to wait her energy ramps up.  I am always amazed by that phenomenon.  Someone should study that.

Now we are looking "going" straight in the face.  We don't know when, where, how, and I am sure a million other details.  What we know is that as we obey, and as we set our selfish desires aside, God is leading us to go.

Our first step that we felt God leading us toward was completing and submitting applications to Engineering Ministries International (eMi).  This is the organization that I have done a couple short term trips with over the past few years.  Now the "rubber is hitting the road".  Looks like we will be heading to Colorado Springs sometime in the next couple months to interview.

All the conversations have been nice.  Filling out the application was interesting and good for me.  But now, when it looks like we might actually have to do something......  I am sure this is only the first of many, many times that the "going" part of go will give me pause.

There are so many unknowns that pave the path we have begun to walk.  We know that God leads us: "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Ps 119:105)

A great reminder to stay in God's word because that is our light.  Sometimes our light shines far into the distance, and other times that light doesn't seem aimed so high.  Either way, we know who lights our way, we know who makes our paths straight and we know who give provisions along the way.  Praise be to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Not deserving

This morning I was overwhelmed with God's kindness to me.  I was drawn to Psalm 37.

Psa 37:3-4
Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

There are desires of my heart that I don't believe that I deserve.  As I read that verse this morning, I was brought to tears thinking about just how unworthy I am of his love.

What does it look like to delight yourself in the Lord? What delights you?  Delight - a great sense of pleasure or gratification.  First thing that comes to my mind when I think of delight is my wife and kids, not really them on their own, but my relationship with them.  It is in the intimacy of the marital relationship that I delight in my wife, and it is in the silliness of being a dad to silly kids or in the pride of watching my kids make good decisions that I find delight. 

So maybe it is in relationship that we delight in the Lord.  How do I relate with God?  Changing seasons is one time when this happens for me.  There is something about seeing the created world go through predictable changes that draws me close to God.  There must be something about feeling connectedness to all that is happening around me.   I find delight in what God is doing around me.  I think it reminds me that He is the sustainer of creation; that He is the sustainer of me.

We are going through this stage in our lives of walking through the application process with Engineering Ministries International (eMi).  When I think of being a missionary, I don't think of having my desires met.  Seems like missionaries are supposed to "go without", and generally struggle through life.  I try hard to not think ahead and plan ahead of what God is doing, but at the same time, I have ideas of how I think things may work out, I have desires.  What if I feel that God is in the process of giving me the desires of my heart, AND it includes going to the mission field?  I feel unworthy.  I am unworthy.  But here in Psalms, it says that if I delight myself in the Lord, he will give me the desires of my heart.

God, thank you.  Thank you that along with all of creation you sustain me.  Not only that, but you give me the desires of my heart.  I delight in you, in all of you.

Called by God

I have been involved in a few conversations recently that raise the question, "Have you been called by God"? or better yet, "Have I been called by God"?

I was asked this just the other day.  My response.  No and Yes.  So the background.  I have been serving on the Leadership Team of the Church (Impact) we are attending here in Redmond Oregon for the past couple years.  As with all churches, our church has created some history in it's six year existence.  Skirting around the edge of that conversation, we have had a difficult year this past year.  Our new Pastor (Mike Sheldon) has our existing Leadership Team reading a few articles and thinking about our calling.  Are we serving on the Leadership Team because we have been called, or out of obligation to the organization.

The other morning over a wonderful cup of coffee, I told Mike that I have not been called to serve on the Leadership Team.  I was not awoken last night by an angel telling me to be on the leadership team ( I was awoken however by an angel named Joanna who was attacked by her alarm clock at 2 in the morning!).  I don't have a key verse that I can turn to where God made it clear that I need to show up for the next Leadership Team meeting.  There isn't a song that touched my life regarding my deep seated need to lead.  So, I guess the answer is No, I am not called.

I wonder how many times in my life, and I hope you wonder this as well, I stopped there.  Seems simple enough.  God didn't call me, I don't have to participate. I am sorry to say that I have been there.  I have consciously determined that there are things I shouldn't do because God didn't "call me".

But then there have been times in my life when God did call me.  He called me into full time Youth Ministry in one of those experiences where I couldn't hear the actual words, or see who was speaking them, but every fiber of my being knew that God had just showed up and "called me".

So what about all the other days in our lives?  All those decisions that we make, big and small.  From buying a car, to where to go to college, to if I should marry, to when/if we should have kids, to my occupation, to where I live. 

The other part of my answer to Mike was, Yes.  God has called me.  For those of us to profess to knowing Christ, we have all been called.  When the disciples first started following Him, they dropped everything and followed.  The accounts of what they were to leave and forget are truly amazing!  We were clearly called to love one another, to Go and make disciples, to be Jesus in this place.

God created me with a certain talents or gifts or skills,  then he has given me 44 years of experience, then he sat me and my family down in Redmond among a group of people attempting to serve Him.  So then the question becomes how will I respond.  Will I use what God has given me to do what God has called me to, or will I use what God has given me to do what I want?  In some areas of my life I have done this relatively well.  In others, I have ignored the call.