Leadings

I have been a Christian for most of my life, and while I have never been known for my memory, it seems like I can remember a lot of different ways that us Christians like to talk about how God leads us.  Are supposed to sit still and wait for God to tell us what to do, or are we supposed to be looking for open and closed "doors", or do we walk the path that lies ahead trusting that we are holding Gods hand, or are we a big ship that can't be turned if it isn't moving, or does is not really matter as long as we are growing closer to God and building that relationship?

The point of this post is to say - "I don't know".  In my life, I have seen God lead in many ways, and I am pretty sure there have been times that I haven't seen him lead.

For the past two years I have felt that my current situation is being squished.  I feel like on every side the walls are getting closer.  It's like Luke, Han, Lea and Chewbacca in the trash compactor.  I desperately call out for help.  I don't hear anything.  Unlike our desperate galactic travelers, I know who is pushing the walls in.  So am I suppose to try to stop the walls?  or am I supposed to try to escape?  If God is squishing me, am I supposed to try to stop Him?

At this point, I guess I just have a lot of questions.