Traveling - Relationships - Brokenness

This last week was a week of traveling and catching up with a number of people in the Willamette Valley. The first part of the week we were in Newberg with Wanda's parents, Duane and Sherrill. We got to go for a little walk along Hess Creek the other day. That meant that the kids had to try to find every imaginable way of crossing the creek.

One of the pleasures of being in the "valley" this time of year is the flowers.  Here is a Magnolia Tree!  We definitely don't get these kinds of flowers on the dry side.

While here, we have had many chances to share our story with a number of people.  Duane was nice enough to invite us to share with their Sunday School class at Newberg Friends.  It was great to be among Friends for worship!

Through the course of the next couple days in Newberg we got to see many people.  People that we had known for a long time, and people that we were just meeting.  We were very encouraged as we listened to the stories that people shared with us about how God was working in their lives.

Mid-way through the week, we took a couple days to rest at Wanda's sister's house in Oregon City.  Unfortunately, that is when the Willamette Valley rain started.  Our kids got to enjoy their cousins, and Wanda and I enjoyed catching up with Marc and Cindy.

On Friday we went back to our old stomping grounds of Silverton, OR.  This is where we spent five years of our lives working as Youth Pastor for the Silverton Friends Church.  We were hosted by wonderful friends, and again, we had the opportunity to share our story and listen to the stories of others.

So what did I learn on this trip?  Where did I see God?

I continue to be amazed at what a blessing it is to take time to sit down with people and share stories.  There is so much that we all have to learn from one another.  I definitely saw God in people young and old who are actively opening their lives and hearts to God's will.  That was awesome.

One thing I learned is that there is conflict and pain everywhere.  OK, so you are thinking that this isn't any great discovery.  But as I listened to people, I heard over and over examples of how the relationships that we allow to remain broken around us create conflict and pain within ourselves.  Sometimes those broken relationships are our fault and sometime they aren't.  For this discussion, I don't think it matters whose fault it is, the relationships are still broken.

I am sure there are plenty of books and blogs where you can find all sorts of neat prose about broken relationships, so I will let you search the web for those resources.

For me, on this trip, there were two connection points:

1. My situation is not the only situation with pain, conflict and broken relationships.  That might be comforting, or that might be depressing.  Take it how you like. I was comforted, and then once I got over that, I was saddened.  We are the body of Christ, we are His expression on the earth, we are Jesus to our neighbors.  I want to be a positive expression.
2. I am reminded of something from the book "When Helping Hurts".  We maintain relationships with our God, ourselves, our community, and our world.  At some level, we ALL have brokenness in those areas.  As International Development workers, we see the brokenness in the relationship that the rest of the world has with God and their world.  I am afraid that we are often blind to the areas of our brokenness.

So what do I do about that?

1. I am going to seek to live my life in such a way that does not cause broken relationships, and as much as I can, I am going to help those around me not form broken relationships, and maybe even reconcile some that are.
2. I want to continue to change the way that I look at others who have broken relationships with God, themselves, others, or the world; because I am one of them.  I too have brokenness in my life.

Thank you friends and family who  made this last week possible, from taking care of our dog, to feeding us and housing us, to opening your hearts and your homes, we were truly blessed and encouraged by you.  We pray that God would continue to work that He began in you.  And we are excited to see what God will be doing through all of us in the years to come.

Why do you Surrender?

There are all kinds of images that come to mind when someone says the word "Surrender".  What I am curious about is why do we surrender?  Sure, someone else might have an Atomic bomb, or we might be scared enough to soil our pants, but why do we Surrender to God?  Are you scared of Him, or do you think you will get something from Him?........

If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds. - Jesse Jackson

The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission. - John F. Kennedy

We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can - namely, surrender our will and fulfill God's will in us. - Saint Teresa of Avila

Childlike surrender and trust, I believe, is the defining spirit of authentic discipleship. - Brennan Manning

A key to everything is surrender - to really come before the Lord and say, 'I will literally stay here as long as you want me to stay' or 'God, I will really go anywhere on the earth.' - Francis Chan

So, some parts of our culture tell us to never surrender - for then you will be weak, and at the same time in the church we say that we have to surrender.  How do we find balance in that?  I am going to purposfullly pass on that for now.

What has me thinking these days is "Why do we surrender?"

When we talk of surrender in church, we are talking about surrendering our lives to our Father, our friend, the lover of our soul and our Savior.  Why do we need to surrender to our friend? I suspect we often surrender because we think we are going to get something.  Something good.  Something like good fortune, or blessings, or friends, or acceptance, or Salvation.  But then, if that is our motivation, we are really bartering, not surrendering.  I give you something and you give me something.  I think the motivation for my surrender should be because He is God.  Not anything else.

As this relates to my current situation, there are any number of reasons and explanations for why we are making this change in our lives.  There has not been enough work for me for quite some time.  I am not very content with my job.  Sometimes I look at what is happening in our schools with our kids and I think we should just leave the country.  Exposing our kids to the rest of the world will be good for them.  Expanding our horizons will be good for Wanda and I.  This is a great opportunity to help those in need. Etc, etc, etc.

When I talk with people about why we are surrendering and how that affects our lives and our kids, it is SO easy to fall into those reasons, because they all hold reasonable and real explanations.  There are parts of truth in each one.  But what really drives us to surrender ourselves and step out in faith? It is because of who called.  Jesus calls us.  Nothing else matters, they are all details.

That is easy to say, but something else to do.  And I am finding it is also difficult to express.  When a professional colleague asks why I am doing this; how do I respond in a way that balances the realities that he can understand (work/kids/need) with the truth of a simple response to an almighty God?  I want to be able to share the real reason that we are going, that we are surrendering.

What does this look like in your life?  God has called you, how have you responded?  Why do you do the things that you do for God?  What drives you, what do you expect from God in return?  How do you feel when you are surrendered?

Waves of Reality

As our family walks this path toward the mission field with eMi, I am finding that there are a lot of things that will have to change.  You may think that this is intuitively obvious.  I agree.  What I find interesting is that it seems that for each of these changes there are different stages of the experience, different waves of reality.

Matthew and I went to the High School open house last night where he will go to school next year, or will he?  We really don't know where we will be next fall when school starts.  We are generally OK with that, however, walking around the school last night was an experience for me of another wave of reality.  

My boss was in town from Portland this last week.  We talked about the transitions that are coming.  We met with one of my clients and let them know that changes were coming.  I have found the process of talking about and planning for the loss of my job to be a little disturbing.  I feel less in control than I did last week.  Again, it is another wave of reality.

I know that God has a plan for our lives, that He will see it through to fruition, that there is no shortage of money in his economy, that He is the giver of wisdom and knowledge, that He sustains and provides for us, however, waves of reality are continually breaking over me.

I have been drawn to Matthew 6:19-34 lately.  If you have been in the church for very long, I am sure you have read through this section.  For me, it speaks to how we can respond to those waves of reality.  When I boil down my struggles with the waves of reality they can pretty well be summarized by - 

‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

Jesus responds - Your heavenly father knows that you need these things, Jon.  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

I will continue to face the waves of reality that are still coming my way and I am sure that I will continue to be knocked back a couple steps each time one lands on my head, however, in between waves (an maybe someday through the waves) I will seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness.  I invite you to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness - "for tomorrow will be anxious for itself."

Lent - Resting, Giving up, Learning and Discipline

The beginning of Lent is upon us.  I didn't grow up with a very good understanding of Lent, and I would venture to say that I still don't have a very good understanding.  But over the course of the last 10 years or so I have tried to develop a deeper understanding, and more important, I have grown closer to my Savior through Lent.  For me, that is the purpose.  My God loves me.  He loves me so much he died for me.  In the time leading up to the anniversary of his sacrifice for my sin, I want to lean into His arms and rest as they wrap around me.

Here is a nice cup of coffee in what I used
to call my  $30,000 coffee cup!

Lent has taken on many forms for me, it has usually meant giving up something.  The default for me is coffee.  Not sure why, other than it is the one addiction that I freely admit having.  There have been years that this is a great time of learning that I can survive without the stuff and serves as a daily (shall we say hourly) reminder for what Easter means to me.  There have also been years that I learned nothing other than just how bad a caffeine headache can be.

And this would be the radio
in my 2001 Grand Cherokee.
It will be remaining OFF

So, as I have thought about just what Lent should mean for me this year, I have come upon an idea. I spend about 20 minutes each way driving to work every day.  Sometime I will listen to the news in the morning and bounce between Christian radio and talk shows driving home.  This year for Lent, I am going to give up listening to the radio, and I am going to practice the Spiritual Discipline of intercessory prayer during my drive.  That should give me about 15 minutes each way, or 30 minutes a day.  Just like I fully realize that my understanding of Lent is minimal at best, my understanding of intercessory prayer is probably a little weak.  However, neither of those limitations needs to keep me from spending my time in the car praying for people that God has placed in my life.

This whole transition to eMi is forcing Wanda and I to spend a lot of time in prayer, but most of that prayer is honestly focused on what is happening in our lives.  And I see nothing wrong with that, our lives need a lot of prayer.  But this time in the car I want to focus on others.  On what God is doing in their lives.  If you would like me to be praying for you, I would love to do that.  Share with me what is going on in your life, where God is pushing and pulling you, what has He revealed to you recently, or what you are struggling with.  Feel free to leave a comment below, or send me an e-mail, or call me.

And I would encourage you to think about Lent.  I doubt that you need something else in your life, but for me, it is good to give something up that has become a habit, and it is good to start something that is not a habit.