Unworthy...

Over the years we have been to Hawaii a couple times with the kids. On one of those trips, we visited the North Shore, you know, where they surf the BIG waves. I thought it would be fun to go swim in the waves and experience the power of the water, and I figured it would be a good experience for the kids as well. They were gung-ho, but in a moment of fatherly wisdom I suggested that maybe I should go out by myself first and see how big the waves are before putting my 7 and 5 year old in the water. About 10 minutes later as I was gasping for breath while waves relentlessly beat upon my head, I came to the conclusion that this was not a good place for my kids to wave jump.

Nice story - so what.  Well, over the past week, I have had the similar feeling of waves relentlessly beating upon my head while I try to swim.  This time, I was not experiencing wet waves, or waves of pain and suffering, but the waves of God's provision - and I am not worthy.

For a while, I was stuck there.  I'm not worthy.  You see, over the past week, we have had a few people come forward wanting to financially support us in the Ministry, or double what they are already giving, or both.  That is great and all, but all of these people hardly know us - yet they are joyfully connecting their lives to us and giving their finances.  There is nothing that I have done to deserve those gifts.

Then Easter happened.  Our family went to the Good Friday service at our church, and then the Easter morning service.  I was struck again, I am not worthy - but then Jesus died on the cross.  At the cross everything changed.  All of a sudden I am worthy.  Because of Jesus, I am God's Child.  Not because of anything I did (Eph 2:8 - For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God).  This is Gods gift to His child.

As the waves of God's provision continue to crash upon my head... as I pause to think about why it is that God chooses to use someone like me... instead of dropping my head down and feeling unworthy, I lift my eyes to the cross where my Savior died for me.

So, on our own, we are not worthy.  None of us.  Not worthy of this gift of God, not worthy of His blessings in our lives, really not worthy of anything.  Today, instead of trying to make yourself worthy, or trying to measure what you deserve - rest in the arms of your Father.  You are worthy - because He lives.